Sundays with George

In the wake of recent reports that President Bush was told by God to invade Iraq, CPLA has obtained a transcript of a conversation that never happened between the President and God.

White House Operator: Mr. President, God is on line 2.

Bush: Thanks Harriet …hey God, how ya doin buddy?

God: Hello George, we need to talk. What’s all this that you told the Palestinians about our conversations?

Bush: Well God, I gotta tell ya, these Palestinian fellas just weren’t buyin’ our usual explanations, so I thought I would reassure 'em by lettin’ 'em know that you and I were talkin', and you were on our side on this thing.

God: Now George, did you really tell them I told you to invade Iraq? We both know that was Cheney’s idea and I don’t want you mixing the two of us up again.

Bush: Yeah God, I did tell ‘em you gave me the green light on that one. Those Palestinian boys seemed like God-fearing folk, and would appreciate an authorization from The Almighty. I didn’t mean any harm by it.

God: Well George, you’ve really got me in a pickle on that one. You know I haven’t authorized anything like that since the Old Testament. I’ve been working on my image for centuries and you go and foul it up in one stupid statement. I’m supposed to be the God of peace and love, and now you have me authorizing invasions and killing people. It's tough enough with the terrorists killing everyone in my name.

Bush: Well God, I am sorry about that, but I’m not too happy with you either. What’s with all these storms you been throwin’ my way? You’ve got me in an awful mess with those folks in the South. My poll numbers are way down and I had to get rid of Brownie.

God: Brownie was a fool, and quite frankly, just not pious enough for this administration. I figured this kind of storm would be just the thing to show how incompetent he was. It worked pretty well, don’t you think?

Bush: It sure did buddy, but now I got my work cut out down there. I could use a little help if you know what I mean. Speaking of help, Cheney wants to know when we can get that authorization on Iran?

End transcript.


If your neighbor told you that he or she spoke with God, you probably would think the person is not sane and needs some psychiatric counseling. Yet, if your President tells foreign diplomats that God talks to him, what should you think? Is that OK? Has he been granted an audience with the Almighty because he is the President of the United States? Does anyone really believe that God told him to invade Iraq?

I thought we invaded Iraq because of the imminent threat of weapons of mass destruction. Oh, that’s right, it turned out there weren’t any WMD, so we’re really there to spread freedom and democracy to the Middle East. Is Bush dropping that explanation in favor of playing the God card? Perhaps he is. So now we have a group of terrorists saying that God tells them to kill the infidels, and we have Bush saying that God told him to invade Iraq, and subsequently kill thousands. Isn’t it transparent that both sides are using religion to justify their violent actions and manipulate the hearts and minds of millions? The sad thing is that it works and always has.